Halloween is the one night of the year when wanting to fuck a demon, alien, elf, goblin, or four-eyed monstrosity is arguably more socially acceptable than dressing up as a sexy nurse. And to be clear, I’m using “weird” here with nothing but affection. As a person of broad tastes and very few remaining boundaries, I would happily share a bed with all of the creatures on this list.
While realistic sex dolls are getting better every year, there’s another corner of the industry asking a much more interesting question: why the hell should they look human at all?
So, in the spirit of Halloween, I’ve gone looking for five of the strangest fantasy sex dolls you can actually buy, running the gamut from surprisingly adorable to utterly terrifying. Some are furry. Some are green. Some have considerably more eyes or breasts than evolution considers necessary. And then there’s a fucking dragon.
Happy Halloween, you horny bastards.
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Roxy: The one you can actually cuddle ($669)
Let’s start… gently. Furry-themed dolls are brilliant, but the plasticky look of TPE or silicone can feel a little off when you’re trying to recreate something that’s supposed to be covered in fur. Roxy takes a completely different approach: she’s an actual plush doll, made from soft felt and stuffing.
While it’s generally not recommended that you sleep in bed with traditional TPE dolls due to their tendency to deform and discolor, Roxy is perfect to cuddle up with or even use as a pillow.
And at less than $700, the full-size Roxy is a lot more affordable than your typical silicone or TPE doll, too. She still has all the requisite anatomical features, with medium or large breasts depending on your preference, though the manufacturer recommends using a female condom and plenty of lube to properly enjoy your time with her.
Frankly, as fantasy sex dolls go, Roxy is downright wholesome. Things are going to get much weirder from here, so strap in.
Zarga: Short, stacked, and definitely a goblin ($999)
From cuddly furry to something considerably greener, Zarga is a 70cm goblin mini-doll from Climax Doll, optionally available in a whole rainbow of colorways. And importantly, she actually looks like a goblin. Green skin and pointy ears would have been the easy route, but Zarga has a much more exaggerated fantasy face and voluptuous proportions, complete with enormous ears and alluring purple eyes.
Zarga is made entirely from platinum silicone, but the mini-doll size means her weight is a much more manageable 22lb. She’s small enough to pick up and pose without putting your back out, yet detailed enough that she doesn’t feel like a novelty or scaled-down afterthought.
There’s something weirdly adorable about her, too. Of all the creatures on this list, Zarga might be the one most likely to end up sitting permanently on a shelf somewhere rather than being hidden away when polite company comes round. Although you may still have some explaining to do.
Extra-Terrestrial: I don’t think this is what Steven Spielberg had in mind ($2210)
The lovingly named “Green Spots Alien Fantasy Doll” is probably the most normal doll here, with an adorable face and perky little ears (among other perky things). The blotchy green motif is replicated throughout her skin, which means you probably swap her head out for a zombie girl when you get bored of an alien.
Starry Dolls doesn’t have an official site, instead opting for a handful of authorized retailers, of which Linkooerdoll is one. She stands 153cm tall and is made of full silicone, which explains both the price point and 83lb weight.
And if generic Green Spots Alien Fantasy Doll isn’t quite the creature haunting your particular dreams, Starry has plenty more to choose from, including horned devils and Avatar dolls.
Carol: The four-eyed, six-titted monster girl ($799)
The great thing about fantasy sex dolls is that there really is no limit to the imagination. And as the saying goes: if you build it, they will cum.
The designs at Dolls Castle are no strangers to the weird and wonderful; we could probably have filled this entire article with their catalogue (and we’re saving a special one of theirs for last). They even do a Pokemon one.
But Carol — and her name is about the most normal thing about her — has four eyes. And six breasts. And she’s red.
It’s a wonderfully bizarre design because there’s still something obviously human underneath it all, but then your brain starts counting things and realizes the numbers have all gone terribly wrong.
If you’re looking for a doll that could plausibly be waiting for you at the end of a horny Lovecraft story, Carol has you covered.
Drakaina: Fuck it, let’s just buy a dragon ($1999)
I thought we’d reached the limits of fantasy doll design with four eyes and six breasts. I was wrong.
Drakaina is a 232cm dragon, 107cm of which is an articulated tail. Calling her a “sex doll” almost feels inadequate. This is a full-on fantasy creature, complete with wings, dragon ears, teeth, and an anthropomorphized body.
Ironically, I think this one would be the easiest to hide in plain sight. Or at least, in our dedicated Dungeons & Dragons play room. Put her in the corner and she’s an extravagant fantasy prop guarding a pile of treasure. That is, until a visitor turns her over and discovers the anatomically correct (I suppose, I mean, I don’t actually is they’re correct?) openings underneath.
There is, admittedly, the slight logistical problem that Drakaina is seven and a half feet long. You’re not discreetly sliding this one into a cupboard when your parents come round. But I can’t think of a better demonstration of why fantasy dolls are so much more interesting than another perfectly proportioned silicone woman. Someone sat down and asked, “What if it was a dragon?”