Mr Hankey caters to a mostly niche audience with one of the world’s largest selections of realistic and fantasy dildos. But it’s not just a large selection; it’s also a selection of the largest toys you’ll find anywhere on the internet.

Most of the models you’ll find on Hankey’s Toys are available in four sizes, and while they may feature familiar labels as Small or Medium all the way up to 4XL, they can sometimes be more accurately translated to a scale of “fucking enormous” to “second tallest structure in the world”.

By which I mean…they’re big.

Atlas: He’s Enormous

Atlas, as the name suggests, is one such toy. It’s a big dick of suitably god-like proportions. As a fan of big black cocks, I decided it was time for something a little more … biblical in scale. So I opted to try Atlas in a dark brown.

I only labor this point about sizing because it’s easy to get caught in a trap of “don’t be silly, I want something big, so I’m not going to buy the smallest size”. So, naturally, I went with one size up: Large/XL, it said.

I expected something big, of course. But even Zeus would bow down to this titan.

Remember folks: it’s perfectly ok to go small or medium for your first “big” toy! Each Hankey’s Toy includes a warning sticker on the packaging, and it’s imperative that you don’t try to force something in when it’s clearly too big.

You’ll find a full breakdown of exact sizes on each product page, along with comparisons to a soda can. Check that carefully, and with a tape measure, see if you can find something at home with a similar widest circumference, just to give you something tactile to compare with.

Atlas is Hankey’s largest toy yet, and it shows. The base model in medium has an insertable length of 7.5” and a widest girth of 9” in the middle of the shaft. Meanwhile, the Large/XL we’re reviewing has 9” insertable and 11” circumference in the middle. It’s also available in  3XL and 4XL, which are 10.75 / 14.25 inches insertable, and 13 / 17.5 inches circumference respectively at the widest point. And I am … speechless at that point.

The 4XL also weighs 16lbs or just over 7kg, though thankfully the Large/XL we have here weighs an entirely more reasonable 2.1kg (or 4.6lbs).

Design, Firmness, and Colours

Atlas is available in no less than 24 standard colors, but we opted for a realistic dark brown and Medium Firm, which is the third of the four firmness options.

In terms of design, you have a gentle natural taper from the cut head to the bulbous shaft, after which it narrows in again, and then blows up in a massive pair of balls at the base. It’s not uniformly round, however, and has a more flattened profile. So you’ll be stretched more in one direction than the other.

But I doubt you’re going to hilt his entire shaft anyway, so if you want to feel balls slapping against you then Hankey’s Toys has several better alternatives that are equally as girthy but not as long.

There are realistic veiny details throughout and a skin-like texture, though in Medium Firmness as we have here the realism aspect is a little muted. As far as I know, Hankey’s Toys doesn’t do a dual firmness option, which is always my preference for a “realistic” dildo. But you can opt for 40% or 75% soft if you’d like something a little more forgiving.

Materials and Cleanup

Like all of Hankey’s toys, Atlas is made of platinum cure silicone—which is the absolute best choice of material for any sex toy (and fit for a god).

This also means cleaning up after use is simple, and it should be sufficient to just wash with a little soap and warm water. For the ultimate in cleanliness, a hot rinse in the dishwasher is also an option (just don’t add a washing tablet).

I would say boiling it in a pot of water with a drop of bleach works too to get out any stubborn smells, but I doubt anyone has a pot big enough for Atlas.

You can also opt to have a Vaculock-compatible cavity inserted in the base—but if you’re thinking of using this with a fucking machine, be aware that’ll it’ll buckle the drive shaft of all but the most heavy-duty of fucking machines. Instead, we used a heavy-duty strap-on harness (also available from Hankey’s Toys) with the largest ring size!

Bow Down to Your Master

Atlas is truly something to behold. If you want something that looks incredibly realistic while still being humongous, then I can definitely recommend worshipping at the balls of this particular god. Just be absolutely certain of the sizing, and “don’t let your eyes be greedier than your holes” (to quote Mr Hankey himself).

Thanks to Hankey’s Toys for shooting over this absolute impaler to review. Head on over to MrHankeysToy.com to find out more and purchase yours, and you can find all of our toy reviews right here.