The BFG dildo from Mr Hankey’s Toys is what would happen if I put together a splendiferous wishlist of absolutely everything I love in a dildo. It’s packed full of knobbly and scaly textures, it has a massive pronounced head, it has a nice curve to it for P or G-spot play, and it has not one but two knots. In sizes ranging from “Jesus, that’s big” to “get the fuck out of here”, the BFG or Big Fucking Genital is quite the fizzwiggler.

To quote from Hankeys Toys themselves:

From the darkest depths, the deepest caverns and your greatest fears this beast has awoken and its only goal is to make you its bitch. This monster’s lengthy shaft seeks to stretch out even your darkest reaches while its multiple knots threaten to make you scream out its name as they pop through your hole. How long will you last? How much of this beast can you take? What other toy could ever compare to this Big Fucking Genitals?

None. None could.

Video Review

In Use

The BFG is extremely filling, and the pronounced head with the strong curve means it’s fantastic for quick short thrusts on your prostate; it’s also a bit tapered, though, so it doesn’t have such a difficult initial insertion and will go in easily.

Push in a little further, and you’ll start to feel those ridged, bumpy textures along the main part of the shaft. You’ll hit the first knot a bit further, offering a good stretch on what is already a large toy. And the textures continue along the knot.

Hankeys Toys BFG dildo review textures close up

Once you’ve mastered that and can push even further, you’ll face the ultimate challenge, as you’re stretched in every direction and find this delightfully knobbly textured treat at the base.

Hankeys Toys BFG dildo review large knot knobbly bit closeup

It’ll leave you feeling entirely flushbunkled, but I’ll add the caveat that there’s no way my wife was going to take this vaginally, so we only tested it anally on me.

Design and Sizing

I went for a metallic green color. Unlike most of the Hankey’s Toys, the BFG doesn’t really have a signature color and is just shown in black on the product page. But there’s a huge range of standard colors, plus some premium or marbled colors. I usually find plain black dildos to be a bit too tacky; going with a metallic option seems to make everything a little smoother and less absorbent of your lube. But like all silicone, it’s still going to pick up lint and hair, so make sure you wash it before every use.

Hankeys Toys BFG dildo review fucking machine handheld

Sizing is difficult to describe because numbers don’t really do it justice given the uniquely varied design, but it ranges from Medium with a an insertable length of 10 inches, and 10 inches girth around the knot; Large—as seen in this review—at 11 inches insertable and 10.5 at the knot; XL at 12 and 12 inches; then XXL at 13 inches insertable and 12.75 inches around the knot.

Large is definitely a challenge for me—I can’t yet bottom out on it, but it’s a lot of fun trying.

Hankeys Toys BFG dildo review vaculock cavity offfset

As with all Hankey’s toys, you have the option of adding a Vaculock-compatible cavity in the base, which enables you to easily use the toy with fucking machines or a basic strap-on for pegging. You can see that the cavity is quite offset to help counter the curvature. We have a heavy-duty strap-on (also available from Hankey’s Toys) that we used this with, but you’ll need at least a 3-inch diameter ring.

I also tried it with the fucking machine, and that’s definitely something you want to go slow with. The curve makes it ideal for pegging and hitting that P-spot, but you might find it difficult to ride it you’re playing solo. It does have a tendency to bend over a little even in standard medium firmness; I wouldn’t recommend any softer for this, and it still has a good bit of squish to it.  

Hankeys Toys BFG dildo review cleanup in dishwasher

Clean-up can be a little more involved than your average dildo because of all the textures, but a little soap and water are usually enough. A dishwasher or bleach bath is your only option if you need a deeper clean. Given the sheer size, it won’t really fit in a pan to be boiled.

The BFG is quite simply a scrumdiddlyumptious dildo, and If I had to choose one toy from my entire collection to be my one and only desert island toy, it would be this one.

But unless you’re already an experienced Trogglehumper, I recommend getting this in the smallest size possible (Medium). Even then, it is enormous and something you’ll probably need to work up to.

Buy your own BFG now from HankeysToys.com!