Meet Banner, the glow-in-the-dark humanoid cock from Nothosaur Toys. With its pulsing veins filled with mutant blood, pulled-back foreskin, bulging shaft, and a pair of fat, luscious balls, Banner is a fantastical yet strikingly realistic dildo. It’s a toy that’s as much a feast for the eyes as it is for… well, other parts of your body.
Banner is fantastical to behold, but that’s where the fantasy element ends. There are no significant textural details—so if you like your cocks to be more on the knotted or ribbed or tentacle suckered style then look elsewhere. Banner is just a fucking lovely specimen of a nice fat cock. With a twist. And by twist, I mean glow-in-the-dark mutant blood.
Table of Contents
The Story of Banner
Every Nothosaur toy has a story, and Banner is no exception. While it’s definitely not affiliated with any large green monsters in the Marvel universe, Banner’s backstory is a tale of science gone wild.
Banner was once a genetic scientist from the Ender Mechacity who discovered the magical properties of Audrey, a mysterious entity in the jungle capable of transforming genes. But, as these stories often go, his experiment went horribly wrong. Banner mutated into a grotesque beast, eventually learning to control his urges and return to the city as a big, green, only slightly monstrous man.
Is it the most compelling backstory? Probably not. But hey, it’s a dildo, not a Netflix series. What matters is how it performs, and trust me, Banner delivers.
Design and Colorways
Banner is available in two striking colorways:
- Mutant Blood: A glow-in-the-dark green that’s perfect for late-night adventures.
- Berry Wine: A rich red and purple blend that’s as luxurious as it is bold.
The glow-in-the-dark option is particularly fun, adding an extra layer of fantasy to an otherwise humanoid design. Whether you’re into sci-fi vibes or just want a toy that lights up your night, Banner has you covered.
Banner has a huge range of six possible sizes. We opted for Medium, which measures in at 15cm (5.9 inches) insertable, a diameter at the head of 5cm (2 inches), and a maximum diameter of 6.5cm (2.5 inches).
However, to give you an idea of the range, the maximum insertable length on the XXL size is 21.5cm (8.4 inches), while on the extra small it’s a mere 10cm (3.9 inches). But on all of them, the diameter of the head is roughly one-third that of the insertable length, so that should give you an idea of just how stubby the thing is.
Firmness: A New Experience
For this review, I decided to switch things up and opt for the Firm version of Banner. Usually, I go for Medium firmness, but I wanted to see how Firm would feel—especially since it’s supposed to highlight smaller details and add a bit of extra challenge.
Compared to a Nothosaur toy in Medium firmness, Banner in Firm feels noticeably more rigid. The veins and subtle textures are more pronounced, and the overall experience is more intense. While I don’t usually go for Soft option either (it tends to make toys too squishy for anything beyond butt plugs, but I did recently try it for Rockman), I can confidently say that Firm is a great choice for those who want a bit more bite to their play.
In Use: A Glowing Good Time
Banner is all about simplicity and satisfaction. The smooth, veiny shaft and bulbous head make for easy insertion, while the lack of significant texture keeps the focus on the stretch and fullness. It’s not a toy for those who crave intricate ridges or knots, but if you’re after a no-nonsense, fat cock that delivers where it counts, Banner is your guy.
The glow-in-the-dark / UV-reactive feature is a fun bonus, especially if you’re into mood lighting or just want to add a bit of whimsy to your playtime. While the Firm option makes it a bit more challenging, it also enhances the sensation of the veins, giving you a more pronounced feeling with every thrust.
Banner is a great choice for either fucking machine or strap-on play, with an optional vac-u-lock hole in the base. It also pairs well with the new heavy-duty Yrdeno strap, provider stability and confidence that it won’t flop around while you’re hammering their ass.
Who Is Banner For?
Banner is perfect for anyone who loves
- Humanoid fantasy cocks. It’s thick, veiny, and just the right amount of grotesque.
- Glow-in-the-dark / UV reactive toys. Because who doesn’t love to fuck under a blacklight.
- Simplicity. If you prefer smooth, textured-free designs, Banner delivers.
Banner is a glowing, veiny testament to Nothosaur’s ability to blend fantasy and functionality. It’s not the most intricate toy in their lineup, but sometimes, you just want a fat, satisfying cock—and Banner delivers exactly that.
Banner is available now at Nothosaur’s website, where you can choose your size, color, and firmness options—and use the code “sextoydb” for 10% off!