Self-bondage is a wonderful thing: a feeling of complete helplessness. Whether you do it because you don’t have someone who will oblige your bondage fantasies or it’s simply another aspect of your sexuality, there’s a world of support and excitement out there. Read on for my top tips that every self-bondage beginner should know!
Always Have a Backup Plan
Things can—and do—go wrong. For some, the excitement of possibly being unable to get out of a self-bondage situation is part of the fun, while for others, it’s just the convenience of being tied up when someone else isn’t around to help. Whatever the pleasure you derive from self-bondage, I think we can all agree that you don’t want to die from it if the house suddenly burns down, or have the neighbors call the police because they haven’t seen you in a week. So what can you use as a backup?
- Have a backup key placed somewhere accessible (i.e. not on the other floor of your house if you can’t safely make it up or down the stairs). You needn’t make it easy though. Try placing the key in a paint tin, so if you absolutely do need to use the backup, then the only real damage is done to the carpet.
- Tell a friend to come round in an hour; if all goes well, you’ll be untied well before then and your friend will be none the wiser. At the very worst, you’ll be embarrassed but not dead. If you have an understanding significant other who will be around in a few hours, then they can be a good backup too.
- For rope bondage, a pair of scissors to cut your way out is essential; the motivation being that you won’t want to ruin the ropes. But rope is especially dangerous, and it’s easy to suffocate or cut off the blood flow, so keeping a backup is even more critical.
- My preference is just to put another weak point into the bondage; a plastic cable tie works well. If you really, really struggle, the cable tie will break well before the chains or rope will.
Start Slow and Avoid Risky Positions
If you’re new to self-bondage, it’s essential to start slowly and keep it simple. While it’s tempting to try out some of your own elaborately designed predicaments, you should avoid complex or intricate bondage setups that can be challenging to untie if something goes wrong. Instead, begin with basic techniques like tying your wrists or ankles together and gradually build up from there.
It’s also best to avoid anything that will restrict your airway, like solid ballgags or sensory deprivation hoods. This is dangerous even for experienced self-bondage players, but for absolute beginners, it can quickly turn into a panic attack. You should also avoid positions that can be potentially harmful, such as hanging from the ceiling or using equipment that could lead to injury if it fails or break. Like restricting your airway, suspension bondage should never be attempted without a play partner who can keep you safe. There is no safe way to do that alone.
Use the Right Materials
Use soft, non-abrasive ropes or restraints that won’t cut into the skin or cause friction burns. Avoid using anything too tight, as this can restrict blood flow and cause numbness or tingling.
Beginner Bondage Tricks
The Two Ring Device
One of the most difficult things when performing self-bondage is to get yourself tied nice and tight. Being hogtied (hands and feet behind your back), for instance, is particularly difficult. This is where the infamous two-ring device, pictured below, comes in useful. The special way the rope goes through the rings means that pulling one part of the rope will take up the slack and tighten the other; the other half of the rope cannot be pulled back once tightened, so it’s a one-way process.
Pull one end to take up the slack; the other end can’t be pulled.
This is a simple one I made for testing with a length of dog lead (always useful to have around for kinky play and far more innocent than 20ft of hemp rope), two curtain rings, and a cable tie.
Ice Lock and Key Releases
Once you’re tied up, you do need a way to get out eventually. But how can you time that right, balancing helplessness and eventual guaranteed release? Ice locks are simple devices that can be filled with water, frozen, and when integrated into your bondage are guaranteed to melt, breaking the link and releasing you eventually. Make sure you test the lock beforehand to get a good idea of exactly how much time that will be, and have a towel to soak up any dripping water (the ice-cold drips can be quite tortuous).
Ice locks can also be used to hang a key from somewhere inaccessible, but this isn’t quite as reliable, so be sure to weight the key with something else that will ensure it can drop.
Here’s a straightforward ice lock I made, consisting of a cylindrical pencil sharpener (with the sharpener bit snapped off), and a shoelace tied together with the loops slightly pulled out from the top. You can find far more elaborate plans online, or buy a professionally made metal one for around £50-£100 each.
It’s ugly, but it works. Fill container 2/3rd with water, and freeze. Once melted enough, the rings will pull free.
If you have a 3D printer, you can even make one yourself for a dollar or two in flament.
Other forms of ingenious key releases include a piece of string suspended from a computer CD-drive; a timer application on the computer can be then be set to open the drive after a set amount of time, thereby letting the key fall. There’s even a blowjob trainer application, which will only release the key after you correctly perform a number of blowjobs. The app monitors your progress on the webcam, then subjects you to a slideshow of your performance before finally releasing you.
An electronic time lock is also an easy and reliable way to ensure release. Magbound is an electromagnetic lock that can be powered from a portable USB battery bank, so it’s completely safe. When the power runs out, there’s no way it’ll stay locked.
Magbound has been a revolution in self-bondage for me.
If that’s a little too pricey, you could try one of these $15 time locks, but you get what you pay for.
Learn More, and Experiment
Like most things in life, the secret is never to stop learning. In the world of self-bondage, these two websites are particularly helpful, with everything from tutorials and DIY instructions, scenarios, software (yes, get your computer involved with self-bondage!) and user forums for help and advice:
