It sounds so dirty and deviant, doesn’t it? How could anyone contemplate sex with a … machine?
How about the potential for relentless penetration that rips orgasms from you as you lay there, quivering? Or the ability to safely explore your filthiest fantasies from the safety of your bedroom? Or perhaps just unlimited sexual experiences that are out of this world? Anything is possible with a sex machine!
But hold up: “sex machine” is a really broad term, so let’s define exactly what we mean—I’m not talking about mere garden-variety vibrators here.
Table of Contents
The Three Types of Sex Machine
Thrusting
The first and most common type of sex machine is a thrusting or fucking machine, which means you attach a dildo on the end and it automatically thrusts back and forth. I’ve tried tons of these machines, so check out my full thrusting sex machine buying guide based on my experiences to help you choose which one is right for you. A good fucking machine starts at around $500.
Suitable for both sexes, thrusting machines vary in power, accessories, and control methods. The best have a good amount of torque (thrusting power) for both anal and vaginal use, a huge range of accessories (some even with an automatic lube shooter!), and smartphone app controls.
How does a fucking machine work? The most common mechanism is a flywheel linked to a reciprocating rod, so when the wheel turns, it pulls and pushes the rod back and forth. Depth is adjusted by manually adjusting the radius where the rod is linked. On the luxury end, you’ll find servo motors that can be precisely controlled in both directions, meaning you can dynamically vary the stroke depth without a mechanical adjustment—but these start at around $2,000.
Stroking
Automatic masturbators, or strokers, are designed to move a Fleshlight or “pocket pussy up” and down your cock. Most can vary the length of stroke, speed, and some even come with a suction attachment or rotation capabilities. The best ones can also be controlled interactively with a smartphone app or synchronized to video playback—so as the actress moves her hips upwards, the stroker does, too. Combined with VR, automatic strokers like the Kiiroo Keon offer the ultimate in immersive simulated sex.
Though there are many options out there, the best ones start from $200. Read my full buying guide to the best automatic strokers to find out which is suitable for you. My favorite can even double up as a fucking machine if you’re feeling adventurous (or need to convince the other half that it’s a purchase you’ll both benefit from).
Most automatic strokes create linear motion using a threaded rod with a screw slide attached. The rod spins, and the slide moves up and down.
Saddles
Image credit: Sybian.com
The last type of sex machine is the saddle-style machine that you sit on and “ride”, like a horse. The most famous is the original Sybian, invented in 1987, but other brands are now offering more feature-packed products. With incredibly powerful and rumbly vibrations, a rotating dildo, and sometimes even a small amount of thrusting, saddle sex machines are the ultimate in lazy orgasms. While they can technically be used for anal penetration too, they’re more commonly used vaginally, or without any penetration at all. Saddle machines tend to be associated with the BDSM scene because of their uncanny ability to rip an orgasm from you merely from sitting down. Some even offer bondage points for leg cuffs to attach to.
Smartphone connectivity is still rare within the saddle sex machine market, but there is one model that offers it. However, even that doesn’t offer synchronization to videos or scripted playback. Saddle machines start at around $1,000. There’s much less variety in the accessories and they aren’t compatible with regular Vac-u-lock or suction cup dildos, but you’ll find a few options for interchangeable silicone pads on the top.
The core of a saddle machine is a large motor with a heavy off-center weight to create the deep vibrations. A separate motor is used to drive any thrusting or rotation capabilities.
Things to Consider Before Buying a Sex Machine
So you’ve decided to buy a sex machine—is there anything else you should think about?
Storage
Automatic masturbators are easy to store, and can usually fit in a sock drawer. Most thrusting machines can be deconstructed after use in less than five minutes, and some include a storage bag that will fit under your bed or at the bottom of a cupboard. Saddle machines, however, can’t be deconstructed and are incredibly heavy and bulky. Unless you have a permanent sex room or really high bed frame, it won’t be an easy task to move a saddle machine around and hide it.
Noise and Vibrations
Automatic masturbators are the quietest thanks to the small motors needed. The mechanism on most thrusting machines is also be quiet at slow speeds, but the more powerful models have a tendency to rock back and forth at higher speeds. Some users resort to placing sandbags over the legs, but those living in an apartment may find themselves questioned by neighbors over the rhythmic thudding noise. Saddle machines are the noisiest because of the sheer size of the motors that produce those powerful, deep vibrations. Imagine putting a large rock inside a washing machine and using the spin cycle, and you wouldn’t be far off. There’s no hiding that!
Budget
While there are cheap thrusting sex machines around, I wouldn’t recommend any of them. The build quality is bad, they often ship with unsafe materials on the insertable end, and they lack the power needed for anal penetration. The Himsith Premium is my current pick of the crop for thrusting machines, though you should read my full guide to find out exactly why. A good sex machine will potentially last you a lifetime, so it’s worth spending a little more. Saddle machines are the most expensive due to the large motors and shipping bulk.
Your Partner
Ideally any introduction of a sex toy only happens after much discussion, but while it’s generally acceptable to whip out a pair of handcuffs in the bedroom and say “let’s try these tonight!”, the reaction to a large mechanical thrusting machine or saddle might be a little different. Some will experience jealousy, and might even accuse you of cheating with your new robotic sexual partner.
For couples, any kind of sex machine should be a joint decision—after all, you can both potentially benefit from one.
App Connectivity
The idea of a Bluetooth-capable web-connected sex machine might be initially absurd, but it turns what is otherwise a good machine into a brilliant one. All sex machines offer manual control, where you can turn a dial to adjust the speed or depth of stroke. But those with an app usually offer scripted playback, which varies the machine parameters automatically. This means you can lie back and enjoy a variety of experiences without having to control the action yourself: just download a script that someone else has already written. Perhaps you’re after a ten minute quickie that starts slow, ramps up fast, and ends on a high note. Perhaps you’re up for a slow-burn thirty-minute session with the occasional bursts of high-energy thrusting (and you don’t want to know when it’s coming). Perhaps you have a VR headset, and found a script that syncs the action to your favorite porn scene. This is only possible when your sex machine has app connectivity, so don’t discount it as a remote control gimmick.
What Are You Waiting For?
A good sex machine is a life-changing investment that allows you to explore your sexuality in a safe environment and experience orgasms that are beyond anything humanly possible. Whether for solo use or to explore as a couple, the benefits are far beyond those offered by most sex toys.